I was backlit by the sunshine, but she wasn’t seeing me. She was talking softly, but more to herself than to me.“I could see how a woman, vulnerable or not, could fall for Doctor ... fall for Freddie. He’s nice enough looking, but it wasn’t that. He was so ... kind. No, more than that, caring. Confident. He had so much faith in me, in how good I am. In how much better I could become.”Her voice grew fainter, “The depression, sure, we’d address that, the two of us. But he saw an Eva Martinez beyond that. A post-depression version that had never existed. That I had never imagined. The woman I could grow into.”Eva’s mind returned to this room, to me. She spoke clearly, calmly, directly. “Then he fucked me. I let him. Then he and a friend fucked me. I let them.”She didn’t flinch, stared me straight in the eyes, “I’m still letting them. And I don’t want to. Never did want to. He’s got me. Freddie.”In addition to the super secure window and door locks that Gene Austin installed in our loft,. Struggling to make ends meet, I prostituted myself out sometimes to pay the bills. With only a high school degree I managed a corner market store. Living in a mostly black subdivision of town, the few men I slept with were mostly black. Not low life but working type men who wanted to rut with a white blonde female. It seemed that they enjoyed dominating a young white woman and got off ramming their black cocks in me.I tried to shield my son and daughter from this ugly part of my life and was successful until I had to have surgery on my right breast. My medical insurance was a joke and only paid for a third of the cost.The bills really piled up and loss of job income really hurt since I was out of work for two weeks. It was late summer and the kids would be back in school in two weeks. I needed money to buy school clothes and supplies. Stephanie, my daughter was in private school.I called one of the black men that I had slept with. He was a fitness instructor at a local gym. John made.
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